During the past few weeks, as I was recuperating from my surgery, I kept thinking of the past and days gone by. Not sure why, it is so unlike me to look back and reminisce, maybe it’s the year end factor. What better time to think of what we’ve done wrong, learned before we plan for better days ahead?
So yes, there are some things that I should have done and some things that I’ve ignored for far too long such as taking care of my health, providing myself with enough rest time and all. And there are things that I’m proud that I’ve finally overcome, such as my fear of the future.
Today, as I was cycling, I fell…I’d liked to blame my fall to the tiny road bump while going down hill very fast but I know it’s not. The funniest thing is, I remembered that today of all the day, I no longer had this fear of cycling as much as I did before. I never thought I will fall, definitely not, and I intend to take one of those long route around the neighborhood instead of the usual ‘safe’ terrain that I usually do. So the fall was ‘unexpected’ I scraped my knees, hurt my toes and my brand new bicycle is now a bit bent 😛 Then I start to think, why must I fall from a bicycle in my 30s when almost everyone my age will not? Why? How come I wasn’t given the opportunity to learn to cycle when I was younger when all my friends are already cycling and falling happily?
And I can go on and on thinking and blaming others for all the failure, all the disappointment, missed opportunities but instead I was thinking, ‘So that’s how a fall feels like, the hurt on my knee, at least I get to experience it and it’s not so scary after all even though it hurts! It’s part of living!’ So tomorrow I am going to cycle again 🙂 till I am good at it and falling will be impossible in the near future 🙂