Today after I’ve sent my brother home to my Dad’s place, I began to wonder will things ever change. Ok, so today I wanted to practice driving around town with the new MPV and so I don’t mind being his cab driver for the day. Every time he’s in town, we will meet up to have lunch together, and I will end up bringing him to shop in the local malls because everything is cheap to him after the conversion!

Then he brought along his youngest sister with us, which make things awkward. The youngest amongst my step-siblings, who is also my half sister hated me and will openly insult me at times. She will not hesitate to let me know that my presence is not welcome in their family. I remember how she instructed her sons to acknowledge me as an acquaintance and not part of their family, so I don’t deserve to be called an Aunt. I also had unpleasant flashbacks of how she yelled at my Dad and forced him to bring me back home to stay at the flat when my Dad brought me to stay with my step-mother when I was 13 years old. I grew up with the reality that no one wants to have anything to do with me and rejected by my own family members. My Dad even though he loves me, can only do so much because he’s been unemployed ever since I am born. How can I blame him when he always told me that he can’t find jobs being more than 55 years old and is a pensioner?

Anyway, I ended up bringing them to do groceries shopping and waited at Starbucks. Thank goodness that I have a friend to chat with through Watsapp during that time, so I don’t feel bored. I’m disgusted with him for bringing along a Vietnamese girl that is young enough to be his daughter! I guess I have had enough of being ‘nice’ after yesterday. I don’t think I will go out and meet with him anymore in the future because I am not sure things will ever change between us. I’ve always wanted an opportunity to share with him how God has changed my life for the better, at one point of time we managed to have serious conversations where I asked him about his life and the choice he made especially towards woman. However I don’t think he will take any relationship seriously. The fact that he never treats any woman seriously annoys me a lot! All he seems to care is of how he looks and keeping himself healthy and fit.

Seriously though, I do not have any ill feelings toward any of my step sibling, especially after all these years. Perhaps just regrets that our relationships couldn’t be better than what we’re having now. It would have been great to have more than 1 sister to chat and share special occasions with, but we are never in each other’s lives anyway. There are too much hurts, betrayal and dishonesty in the family.

I’m blessed enough to know God, and because of that I can forgive them and get over all the past hurts, depression and rejections. I really hope that someday they will be able to find Him and experienced a transformed lives like me too.

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